


Existence

by summerxblessings



Category: Infinite (Band), K-pop
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, BoyxBoy, Dark, Drama, Fanfiction, Fantasy, Friendship, M/M, Romance, Slice of Life, Yaoi, kpop
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2018-07-27 05:59:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7606405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summerxblessings/pseuds/summerxblessings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>{AU} One forgets while the other remembers.</p><p>Kim Sunggyu can attest to the fact that it's harder to be the one that remembered. It's harder to be the one that's been left behind, too. </p><p>He knew. And it made him glad to know that Woohyun didn't experience it too.</p><p>But it didn't make it any easier.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This work is also posted on AFF [here](http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1208636/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have begun rewriting this entire story--please read from the beginning! I have not deleted some chapters because there were comments on them (and I'm a sucker for comments). Happy new year!

 

Silence ensued after Sunggyu requested the Devil to aid him, his head bowed slightly to show that he respected him.

Sunggyu knew it was a foolish but possible request. He was a vampire that wanted to become a mortal? It was unheard of, for it was often the reverse that was requested of the Devil.

But he wanted to become a mortal.

There was nothing heard in the room except for the distant moaning of tortured souls that were serving their sentence in Hell. Sunggyu could only hear himself breathing in the room. He willed himself to hold his breath after he realized how loud his breaths sounded, in anticipation, wondering whether his foolish request would be granted. He was almost certain it would be. He was just very unsure of what the price of having it granted would be.

After all, one of his ancestors had been one who made a deal so that all her descendants would be immortal. Now he wanted it to be reversed.

His ancestor had paid a hefty price for becoming an immortal that walked the night--it was at the price of where she herself and all her descendants would be cursed to never love or be loved; and in the event of the latter, it would never be fulfilled.

He had hope that because he no longer walked with the night after this that the curse would not affect him. Perhaps he should ask—but that wasn’t really of consequence. He needed to leave fast—he had a sinking feeling in his stomach and he wanted to depart for his new life with his lover as soon as possible.

Sunggyu thought that the price of becoming immortal was rather hefty already. He just hoped that the reverse, what he would be doing, would be less pricey. However, he could not complain at all, whatever the Devil decided.

For a long, long moment there was nothing but the mute silence of agony characteristic of the Underworld that accompanied the two beings in the Devil's Throne Room. Sunggyu took in another unsure, bated breath.

Then came the deep, rumbling chuckle of the Devil. It crawled from a deep, gutty bass to a more light and lyrical tenor; it was almost a three-octave difference. He was thoroughly amused. The laugh itself gave Sunggyu chills, reminding him of nothing but darkness, misery, and anger. He had been there at one point during his existence--but not anymore.

He just didn't like being reminded of it because he had been so consumed by the darkness he did not see the light in anything.

"It is possible," the Devil nodded his head, a sly smirk appearing on his face as he sat comfortably on his throne. He looked like a cat that was toying with a mouse; he was much too amused. He was the cat and Sunggyu the mouse. "But... what really confuses me is... why are you here?"

Sunggyu could only grimly agree that he was out of his mind for coming to the Underworld to ask for a favour from the Devil himself. But he had no other choice. It also didn't hurt that the Devil was probably the most powerful being that existed.

He did not want to go and ask the Heavens for help. He was an abomination in their eyes for being a half-vampire and half-mortal. He also technically was not a child of God. He was a child of the Devil because he had been born into darkness and had only known darkness. He had long dealt with the scorn of others. To be scorned by the most loved existences of God Himself would have made him feel less than what he felt already. It was often said that God loved everyone. But he had never followed God for he was a creature of the night, so he was not going to try his luck.

The Devil was very aware of the fact that he might be the most powerful being in the world. Evil existed more so than Good these days. It just so happened that he couldn't be bothered with trivial things such as exerting his dominance over humanity, nor did he want to bother taking over the Heavens, since he was very lazy. He didn't find the need to do unnecessary things like exerting his dominance, so he often remained in the Underworld, happily drinking from his golden goblet that never failed to be filled with red wine, with his favourite green grapes on the side. Had he been visiting for another reason, Sunggyu would have been able to delve further into his musing that the Devil was almost the embodiment of all the deadly sins.

Sunggyu cleared his throat, paying his respect to the Underworld God, bowing his head slightly more as he spoke. "I do not think God would have much of a solution to this, since my soul walks with the darkness of the night. My father is estranged from me and would have not agreed to this. He's the only other one aside from you that would be able to help me achieve mortal status." He had researched in his clan's library archives and found that there was a record of a distantly removed cousin that had successfully converted herself into a mortal because she didn’t want to exist forever, by the blessing of the clan head. Sunggyu knew that Hell would have frozen over before his father would have granted such a wish for him.

"Of course, he would not have agreed," the Devil agreed, curling his lips upwards so that Sunggyu was able to see his red-stained teeth from all the wine he's been drinking. He almost seemed reluctant to grant Sunggyu his wish, but Sunggyu wasn't fooled; the Devil was secretly glad. The son of a prominent vampire in the living world didn't want to be a vampire anymore. It would surely tarnish the Kim Clan’s reputation and the Devil would have drama to keep himself entertained with.

Not wanting to be a vampire anymore was akin to disowning your own family. Sunggyu was sure that him, the half-breed, disowning the clan, was something that would be the talk of the supernatural society for years.

However, Sunggyu couldn't find it in himself to care much if at all of what would happen to the clan and his father's reputation. After all, he was estranged from his father. He could count all the times they interacted on one hand.

"It is a foolish request indeed," the Devil advocated, thoughtfully played with his favourite golden goblet. Not a drop of wine spilled out of it, however, making Sunggyu prompt to believe that the Devil was not as thoughtless as he may seem. He was sharp and cunning--drinking all the wine and enjoying his existence lavishly was a ruse to catch the occasional foolish challenger off guard.

Sunggyu agreed to what the Devil said, having told himself the exact thing repeatedly, but he did not change his mind. He'd been thinking of what he wanted to do for a while now and this was it. He had given it lots of thought.

There was no point in living in world of living for so long to be hated so much. Sunggyu was tired. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with the one he loved and leave it with the one he loved.

"You're exchanging years and years of existing for just a short couple of decades every few centuries. You will surely regret," the Devil said with boredom, continuing to play with his goblet. Sunggyu was sure that the Devil himself couldn't have cared less to warn him; it was just part of the 'rules' that dictate how the beings with higher power ruled so that they did not abuse their power. He had to let anyone who came to him know exactly what it entailed when they signed a blood deal with him.  It was just a necessity that, if the Devil had a choice, Sunggyu was sure he wouldn't have bothered. Though on second thought, the Devil, of course, must have not wanted Sunggyu coming back later complaining even if the rules did not exist.

"Perhaps," Sunggyu voicing his agreement. "But I don't want him to grow old by himself. He will definitely be tortured and saddened." He silently thought of his smiling face, the way he laughed and the way he was always happy no matter what happened. No, he never wanted him to be sad. He didn't want to be the one that made him unhappy. He knew him. He wouldn't want to grow old by himself.

The Devil obviously didn't care for much, because he didn't ask for Sunggyu to expand further. What Sunggyu didn't miss was his slightly surprised face that was masked quickly in less than a split of a second with indifference. Sunggyu was sure he noticed his use of pronouns. Sunggyu, however, just wanted to get back to William’s side at that point in time so he didn’t really bother elaborating.

"How valiant," the Devil mused, sitting up a bit straighter on his throne. Sunggyu could say that he was a bit amused, yet also more worried that the Devil seemed to be keener to hear more from him, though he tried to mask it as indifference. He could almost see the little boy in the Devil. He looked like a little boy getting candy. "I suppose you also know that there's a cost for granting this."

"Of course," Sunggyu nodded. Nothing came without a price. Never.

"The cost of becoming mortal..." the Devil trailed off, in deep thought. Sunggyu was however inclined to believe that he had already thought of the cost but was putting on a false pretense. "Aha."

Sunggyu looked expectantly at him as a very amused grin made its way onto his face.

"You will remember everything in every lifetime you live consequently after this, including everything that has thus happened in your existence so far. It is only fair, because if you were to continue on as an immortal, you would also remember everything throughout the years as humanity thrives."

Sunggyu looked confused. The Devil was irritated that he had to explain this; but it was okay. Because he would be thoroughly amused for the many, many centuries to come until the end of time. He was sure of it.

"In every lifetime you live as a mortal after this," the Devil explained, playing carefully with the goblet that he had decided to have placed on the arm of his chair. He trailed off, almost as if he forgot what he was going to say. Then he began again, after formulating the proper words for what he wanted to say, "In every lifetime, regardless if you meet him or not, you will remember everything regarding him and the times you have lived--with or without him."

Silence.

"If I can begin to live instead of just existing, I am willing," Sunggyu nodded his agreement. Sunggyu didn't think it was a heavy price to pay.

"I agree," Sunggyu immediately said. On second thought, he probably should have tried bargaining. But he was beginning to feel an urgency to the pit at the bottom of his stomach that told him to go and find William as soon as possible. It was building, and he had no idea why. Maybe he was feeling anticipation? Or was something going to happen...?

"How impatient," the Devil grinned, flashing all his pearly, white teeth. With a snap of his fingers, an angry, red cut appeared on Sunggyu's palm. The Devil stood up from his throne and walked towards Sunggyu slowly at a leisurely pace, slowly cutting the palm of his own hand with the dagger he pulled from the scabbard at his waist. He grabbed Sunggyu's hand in which the cut was made. Their blood mixed together.

The deal was made.

"You will now live as a mortal."

With a flick of the Devil's wrist, Sunggyu was transported via the Dark Vortex and back to the mortal world. He had been delivered to the footsteps of the castle, something that slightly surprised Sunggyu because he didn't tell the Devil where he was planning to go afterwards. However, knowing the wraiths and all the spirits the Devil had that served him in servitude, Sunggyu couldn't say the Devil was not very resourceful. He was sure that the Devil would know of what transpired between him and his lover soon by the whispers of the spirits who had eyes and ears everywhere.

However, Sunggyu could not be bothered by what the Devil knew or how his father would react when he found out about the news. He no longer belonged with them and would be long gone if he could help it--not that he was ever particularly welcomed by them either.

He was relieved that he'd been transported to right outside the castle; they could leave sooner rather than later and live somewhere where people would not recognize them and perhaps give the people that knew them some sort of believable story about being close friends or something. However, as he made way to enter the castle gates, he noticed a crowd gathering around the hangman's noose that was at the front of the castle. It was not often used because the death penalty was something that the kingdom did not believe in. At least, the ones in broad daylight. Quiet, under the table assassinations did exist. Sunggyu would know of it since he was part of the secret faction that was under the ruse of being an elite guard force for the royals.

It was strange. He didn't remember a hanging to be scheduled today; there hadn’t been one in so long too. He walked closer, pushing past people to get closer to the hangman's noose. He noticed that no one even gave him a side glance. Perhaps everyone was too distracted by what was going on now to even care. That was fine with Sunggyu. He wanted to quietly slip away with him.

However, his heart was pounding in his chest. It was uncomfortable, and the sound of his heartbeat was ringing in his ears. As he began to reach the front of the crowd, his pushing became more insistent and harder. His stomach was lurching, and he began to become panicked. There were disgruntled coughs and comments of anger at his pushing, but he ignored all of them.

When he reached the front, his heart stopped.

The sight that greeted him was the limp body of his lover, swaying gently in the breeze at where the hangman's noose was, hanging by his neck. His chest was still. His eyes were vacant and open. The blood dripping down from where he hung was still a deep red, dripping silently from the bottoms of his bare feet onto the dark, muddy ground. He could see distinct trails of tears still mapped out on his bloody face. He had just passed. Rigor mortis had not set in yet.

It was him. He could see Sungyeol standing somewhere at the top of the castle walls looking too, looking too still and too calm. Not a trace of emotion on his face. Sunggyu thought he could see a slight tremble of his lips, but he did not care—he wasn’t who he cared about.

Sunggyu stumbled backwards, almost retching from the nausea he felt.

This wasn’t supposed to be their reality. They were supposed to set out on horse once the sun rose to the highest point in the sky and start off on their new journey to search for a better and new life, ditching all of their responsibilities. Sunggyu had even reached out to the neighbouring werewolf clan and asked for their protection for a short while before they had everything sorted out and continued their journey, once he became a mortal. The werewolf clan had agreed, although reluctantly.

They were going to start over and be just regular civilians in a faraway, distant kingdom where no one knew of them.

Just yesterday, he had smiled at him, every part of his body and soul indicating that he was so excited for their new beginning away from everyone who knew them. There was too much history in the kingdom for them to stay and forget past grievances. No, they had to depart for somewhere far where their past would remain out of sight, out of mind, and be unable to haunt them too.

Yesterday.

Yesterday seemed so distant. It seemed like a dream.

Today… today he couldn’t bear to think about how he was going to get through today. Today was a nightmare.

Tomorrow.

What would he do tomorrow? Tomorrow could not be reality.

He hoped tomorrow would not come, because tomorrow held no meaning to him anymore if he wasn’t around.

He didn't know how to react. He stumbled away from the front gates of the castle, too anguished to even think. Tears did not flood his eyes because he was still in denial. He did not know how he managed to, but he stumbled his way through the rugged, cobble-stoned streets of the kingdom, trailing his way in a trance through the meadow, following a long-abandoned path to the clearing by the lake.

He was greeted by the familiar sight of wildflowers dancing to the tune of the breeze and the sparkling waters that twinkled with delight. But how could they be so happy when he was dead? It wasn’t fair. This couldn’t be true.

He fell to his knees in anguish, his palms breaking his fall partially but stinging all the same. He retched, finally emptying his stomach until there was no more. He heaved and heaved after that, coming out with nothing but clear phlegm.

He gasped for air, his chest heaving up and down and hurting so, so much. There was no emotional pain yet.

No tears would escape him yet.

Sunggyu opened his mouth and let out a tortured scream.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have begun rewriting this entire story--please read from the beginning! I have not deleted some chapters because there were comments on them (and I'm a sucker for comments). Happy new year!


	2. oo1

 

EDITING IN PROGRESS


	3. oo2

EDITING IN PROGRESS


	4. oo3

EDITING IN PROGRESS


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